DUNDUNDAH!
by KlainexXxArygon
Summary: Kurt did NOT want his father to find out about his boyfriend like this. Hilarious humor. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

_Okay this is quick but I'm going to make another chapter to because this will leave you hanging. Enjoy and the next chapter wont be up until I get some reviews :P_

_

* * *

_

'Do you think the answer is A or B?'

'It's got to be A. There is no way it is B.' Kurt replied.

He and his roommate Nick were going through a practice History test. Nick was lying on his bed, and Kurt was sitting on the edge of his desk.

'What about question 39?'

'Oh definitely C. There's no way that the Indians were more fashionable then the Europeans.'

Nick grinned and jotted down the answer. A knock at the door brought them out of their thoughts of cowboys and Indians.

'Come in!' Kurt called, frowning at question 40.

'Hi Blaine.' Nick murmured, getting up and moving to the door.

'Nick it's okay you don't have to leave. We aren't going to make ou-umm...' Kurt bit his lip and blushed as Blaine attacked his neck with his lips.'

Nick chuckled. 'Cya later Kurt.'

'Hey you.'

'Hey.' Kurt whispered. 'You scared my roommate away.'

'Oh dear. It's just I never get you alone anymore.' Blaine wrapped his arms low around Kurt, who smiled and returned the gesture, burying his head into Blaine's neck.

'What's this?' Blaine pulled the test out of Kurt's lap, allowing the younger boy to move his hips closer to him. They'd been dating 12 days. A Kurt pinched himself every morning to make sure it wasn't a dream.

'Oh my practice History test.'

'Ah, you don't need to study for this one. Which is good because I get to do this...' Blaine kissed his cheek, making Kurt giggle.

'Oh god my eyes are burning.'

Kurt looked up, recognising that voice. 'Finn?' He paled. 'Hi Dad.'

* * *

_Dun-duh-dah! Reviews :P_


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey guys I'm sorry this took so long I actually finished it yesterday but forgot to upload it. Enjoy!_

_By the way, I just curled my hair (well half of it, it's too thick to do in one go) because I am that bored...I never curl my hair...OMG KURT IS DOING THIS TO ME! anyways I look like a little girl surrounded by ringlets...until you look at the back of my head which is complete fuzz/long/straight brown hair...why am I telling you this? Maybe you'll get a kick out of it. Idk..._

_NOW READ!_

* * *

Blaine slipped out of the hug and stood awkwardly next to Kurt. 'Mister Hummel, it's nice to see you again...'

Burt was slightly mad. Scrap that he looked furious. Finn looked like he was going to be sick.

'Dad...' Kurt bit his lip, wincing as he thought of what his Dad would do.

'Darling! Finn could you go and...Burt dear what's wrong?' Carol arrived at the door, a gentle hand on Burt's shoulder.

Burt didn't say anything. Carol looked at the Kurt and realisation had dawned on her face. Kurt had told her over the phone when his father wasn't home when he'd hit the 1 week mark. She's told him to wait until 2 weeks before telling Burt. Probably longer though.

'Burt dear can I speak to you for a second?' Carol pulled him away and started murmuring to him quietly and calming him down. Finn looked at them awkwardly.

Kurt ignored his family and grabbed Blaine's hand. 'You should go.'

Blaine chuckled. 'Relax, I'm not going anywhere.' He planted a soft kiss on Kurt's forehead, stroking his cheek.

'My eyes are still burning.' Finn muttered.

'Well don't watch!' Kurt laughed abruptly.

The other boy turned around awkwardly.

'What do we do?' Kurt whispered, his eyes closed peacefully.

'Talk, and hope your father understands.'

Kurt smiled. 'I'd pray but I'm agnostic.'

Blaine laughed softly. 'Same here.' He pulled back and sat next to Kurt on the desk, with enough room between them so it wouldn't piss Burt off.

'Kurt darling?' Carole was making sure they weren't walking in on them making out again.

'Is there something you want to tell me son?' Burt was directing the question at both boys, trying to remain calm.

Kurt paused before raising his chin high, but not high enough to be arrogant. 'Dad, this is my boyfriend, Blaine. Blaine, you've already met Dad, just not as my boyfriend.'

Burt was trying to take this in without freaking. 'How long have you been dating?'

'12 days.' Blaine answered, surprising Kurt by the fact he wasn't the only one counting the days.

Burt nodded, lips pressed together. 'Okay.'

'Dad? Are you okay?' Burt was looking a little pale.

'Burt, darling, breathe. Kurt honey your father is just trying to process this all without it overwhelming him.'

Kurt felt Blaine clutch his hand in comfort.

'When were you going to tell me?'

Kurt frowned. 'Once we'd been going out a couple of weeks.'

Burt nodded, eyes never leaving the floor.

'Dad...' Kurt slipped off the desk and moved towards him. 'Are you okay?'

Burt nodded. 'Look after my boy Blaine.'

Blaine nodded. 'I will sir.'

Burt nodded and backpedalled quickly, Carole threw Kurt a smile as she followed him. Kurt sighed and walked up to Blaine and rested his head against the senior's shoulder.

'Well, that went well.' Blaine murmured.

Kurt groaned. 'My dad is going to try and give me 'the talk' and he's got no clue how to.'

Blaine chuckled warmly. 'You have to go home now.' The senior sighed.

'Yeah I wasn't expecting them until, like later or something.'

'Well that means I get to do this...' Blaine leaned in again and planted several sweet kisses on Kurt's lips, bringing a shy grin from the junior.

'My. Eyes. Are. Really. Burning!'

The senior grinned into Kurt's neck. 'Cya on Sunday.'

'Until then my love.' Kurt teased, slipping away after his horrified brother.

* * *

_Yeah i know lame ending but I couldn't wrap it up. Sorry. I could do a third chapter if you guys really want that has Burt talking to Kurt in private...review and please tell me what you want._


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay so you requested a third and final (I think) chapter, so here it is! Enjoy!_

* * *

The car ride home had been pretty awkward. It was mostly silent, aside from Carole trying to make idle conversation, but she soon gave up, knowing there was nothing she could do about it.

When they pulled into the driveway, Burt sighed and said, 'Lounge room Kurt, please.'

Kurt frowned at his step-brother, who looked as confused as he did. He nodded and slid inside after Finn, who literally ran up to his room.

'Carole?'

'Yes darling.' They were still in the car, not wanting to dive into the cold just yet.

'How am I supposed to give him, you know, "the talk"?'

Carole looked at him and burst out laughing.

'Umm, honey I'm being serious.'

'I know and that's what makes it so funny! Umm, I have no idea. I mean what do they even do?'

'Dear god I don't want to know what my son will do in his sex life, whether he is gay or straight!'

Carole sighed. 'Well, we could always call your sister.'

'No, that won't work. Look we'll just say use a condom and be safe?'

A quirky grin crossed Carole's face. 'We?'

Burt gave her puppy dog eyes. 'Oh please, you have to help me.'

His wife giggled. 'Of course darling, but I had to leave you hanging.'

The man sighed and fiddling with his steering wheel. 'Okay, let's do this.'

Kurt, sitting with his perfect posture as usual, was wondering why he felt like he was in trouble.

'Kurt! Hey, so umm with you and Blaine...' Burt drifted off as he sat in his recliner. For once he didn't turn on the TV.

Carole smiled and sat next to the confused boy. 'Honey, are we right to presume that you and Blaine are serious boyfriend and...boyfriend?'

Kurt smiled proudly and nodded.

'Well son, when erm...when two people are in a serious relationship, for a fair while mind you, they might want to, umm, take it to the next level-'

'Oh god, please tell me you guys aren't trying to give me the sex talk?' Kurt looked genuinely horrified.

Carole smiled comfortingly. 'Well, we just want you to be prepared-'

'We've been dating 12 days. I can proudly say we are not having sex yet.'

'Yet? Exactly how long are you two going to date before you, you know.' Burt waved his hands, wincing as his mind started to work.

Kurt just buried his head in his hands.

'Sweetie, while this may be embarrassing for you, it's also quite awkward for us.' Carole patted his shoulder.

'Because I'm gay?'

'Actually it's more that we are trying to discuss sex with you, regardless of what sex actually is for you...' Burt drifted off, hating his normally non-existent mind.

The boy groaned. 'Someone shoot me.'

Burt shrugged. 'Or I could shoot Blaine and that would fix this whole thing. Woah, Kurt, I was joking, no need for the glare.'

'Look sweetheart, we may not know much about this, in your case, but we do know some things.'

'Please, Carole, don't. Please?'

Burt winced as she stopped talking. 'Well, we know that you should use a con-'

Kurt leapt up. 'Okay! All the advice you can give me I already have. Please, stop embarrassing me!' He ran off to his room, shuddering.

'Well, that went well.' Burt sighed, flicking on the TV.

_If I didn't love you, I would kill you right now._

Kurt was downright humiliated and he did not want to be discussing this with anyone, let alone his parents.

_Umm okay should I be worried?_ Blaine texted back.

Kurt smiled. _Parents just tried to give me a sex talk. Worst experience of my life. And if Wes and David hear of this I WILL murder you._

He phone started ringing.

'Hello?'

'Hey handsome. You okay?'

'Umm yeah just a bit shaken up and embarrassed. You, on the other hand, only have to fear for your life.'

Blaine's chuckles made the embarrassment worthwhile. 'Well at least your dad isn't trying to shoot me.'

'Yet. He isn't trying to shoot you yet.' Kurt corrected. 'Speaking of which, I need to get Carole to hide the guns. I'm serious!'

Blaine was laughing. 'Maybe he's hoping we won't actually go that far. And then he'll get mad. Or something. I don't know. He's your dad.'

'That's the problem. I think he'd rather shoot you than have to give me another talk.'

'Hmm that might become a problem for you.'

'No it's a problem for my _boyfriend_.'

'You like correcting me, don't you?'

Kurt didn't have a reply to that.

'Look, just chill. I'm sure things will blow over. Kurt?'

'I have to go: lunch. Cya later.' Kurt hung up before Blaine could reply. As he made for the door his phone beeped.

_I love you._

Kurt melted. He'd been abrupt and almost rude to Blaine and here he was telling the junior that he loved him.

_I love you too :)_

_

* * *

_

Whaddaya think? Good? Bad? Sloppy? Too quick? I know it should've been more awkward but...it's rather awkward for me to write.

If you want something awkward to read, Emily Maddox just wrote "The Condom" and it is frickin hilarious and awkward and yeah go read it if you want a good laugh.

_Reviews please :)_


End file.
